not in the mood to be depressed.

I really love the fact that now that I have almost 500 subscribers, I've got some haters... And neither of them have the balls to put up videos of their own, or even a profile picture.


Ugggh. Way to try and make my perfect day suck.

werhwpejapowjepaj

New subject.
So the manager at my old job was murdered the other day... I'm really... Shocked. His girlfriend's ex waited for him outside her apartment at like 5 AM Monday morning, and when he left for work the guy approached him and they argued, and then the guy shot Dean (my manager), who ran, but the guy caught up with him and shot him a few more times... I just... I'm in total and complete shock. Who the fuck thinks it is their right to take someone else's life? If you want to kill yourself, that is your own decision and although it emotionally affects some people, it only physically affects you and YOUR life... But to plot and kill someone else is just fucking sick.

I hate people.

feeling sad.. so here's a sad song.

the ice is getting thinner
death cab

we're not the same, dear
as we used to be
the seasons have changed
and so have we
there was little we could say
and even less that we could do
to stop the ice from getting thinner
under me and you

we buried our love
in the wintery grave
a lump in the snow
was all that remained
though we stayed by it's side
as the days turned to weeks
and the ice kept getting thinner
with every word that we'd speak

and when spring arrived
we were taken by surprise
when the flows under our feet
bled into the sea
and nothing was left for you and me.

we're not the same, dear
and it seems to me
there's nowhere we can go
with nothing underneath
then it saddens me to say
what we both knew was true
that the ice was getting thinner
under me and you

the ice was getting thinner under me and you.

-----

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster. I don't normally talk about personal issues on here but... Wow. What has happened this week had too much of a hold on who I am to let it slip by without mention. A friend of mine passed away on Friday morning. She went into a diabetic coma and her organs shut down and she didn't make it. She was 22. Her younger brother, one of my really good friends, found her in her apartment, unconscious Tuesday or Wednesday and she was in the coma for a few days before she finally passed on... Her funeral was today. It was one of the hardest things to watch... Brandon, my friend, get up and sing songs and play his guitar to lead the congregation in the hymns that he picked out specifically for the sister that he was so close to. I have no idea how he managed to do that, seeing as I could barely choke out the words I was crying so heavily... And the most heart-wrenching thing was watching him kneel down to kiss his sister's casket at the burial. I nearly lost it. My heart goes out to him, the rest of his family and all of the friends of his and hers and ours that were there today... And of course, to Courtney, may she rest in peace with God in Heaven.

Then, tonight, I finally decided to tell the guy I liked that I liked him... And rejection. I wasn't expecting anything else, but it still stings a little bit. I figured I was already down, it would be better to stay down a little longer than to get up and get kicked down again. I'm just feeling really... Depressed. Down and out and just shitty in general.

But on the up-side... I leave for bonnaroo tomorrow morning. I get home on Sunday and then Monday morning I leave for church camp. I'll be back Friday and I'm just so excited to be getting out of town. I'm glad to not have to go to work for a week and a half and to not have to be around Dex because I'll just be sad for a little while and... I'm just done with feeling sad.

I hope all of your weeks are going a lot better.

Oh-- And also. I just want to say thanks so much to everyone who has watched my most recent video and commented/rated/subscribed because I really put so so SO much fucking effort into that thing, it's a little ridiculous haha. I especially want to thank Katrina for featuring my video on her channel for a few days and for embedding it on her website because I gained about 25 subscribers since then, and I now have over 5,000 views on the video so just a special thanks to her because that made my week a little better...

But yeah, I hope you guys are having a great summer/winter. <3

my first geek moment of college.

So I had orientation for college on Tuesday/Wednesday, and I met these 3 guys that I hung out with practically the whole time. Richard and Stephen are from about 30 minutes north of me, and Chris is from Arkansas... Anyway- So we had this huge party thing for the group in the rec center with inflatable twister and jousting and giant bowling and stuff... And that ended at 11, so afterwards the boys and I decided to go walk the strip. So we did. We went to starbucks and Buffalo Wild Wings just to sit and talk and we're chatting and Chris is just starting at me and I'm like "Christopher! WHAT are you looking at?" And he goes "You look really familiar... You don't... This is gonna sound dumb, but you don't make videos on youtube do you?"

I swear I could've died.
Apparently he's watched my videos before. I almost peed my pants I was so embarassed. Hahahahaha. I'm going to love college. :]